Yesterday I went to the hospital & they drew blood to type & crossmatch for me to receive 2 units of blood the morning of New Years Eve. Kinda got excited!
Last night turned out to be my most restless, non sleepy night. I never got any real good sleep. About 3am I took a drink of lemonade (my mouth is always dry) & then I went to the bathroom. Returned to my bed & immediately threw it up. How disappointing!
This morning I was at the hospital about 8am. I figured it would take about an hour to get two units of blood. WRONG!!! 5 1/2 hours!!!
But the good news is they placed me in a private room & I got almost 4 hours of sleep! That was GREAT! They only have 1 private room. Don't know how I ended up with it. There were others, 3 to an area with their own bed. And most people just end up sitting in a comfy chair. Really don't know how I got that private room, but it was just what I needed.
Tonight is New Years Eve. Sorry, but no partying from me! I always feel the best way to start a new year is ASLEEP!!!
Jim
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Crazy Night
Last night was so crazy! Sandra started feeling like she was getting a bit sick. Later in the evening we discovered a dead battery & called for a neighbor to jump the car. Thanks Mike! My Mom had decided earlier to take Ryan to her house for the night. A treat for him!
Got a call from my Dr's nurse telling me the results of the blood tests done last Wednesday. SURPRISE! Low in iron. Low in vitamin B12. Low in two different blood counts (don't fully understand them, but know what they are and what they should be at).
One 2 weeks ago was at 33 & 6 days later it was at 30. They should be between 40-50.
The other was at 9.3 & normal is 17.
COULD THAT BE WHY I AM SO WEAK!!!
They want to get me in & boost these things. Iron would take months to get up to normal by taking pills, so they want to give me 2 units of whole blood. Also an IV of B12. Plus other stuff. The only problem is the infusion lab is overbooked this week. Oh well, I have been like this for over a month... what's another week.
Sandra wanted the two dogs inside for the night as it is just so cold right now. She brought them in & put them into the two kennels.
Just after 11pm, I was about to call it a night & out of the blue Sandra asked my temperature. I checked & was shocked! I have been told that if it gets above 100.4 I have to call the Dr. on call & report it. My temperature was 102.9. DANG!!! We called & the Dr. said to take 30 minutes & see if it would drop on it's own. He then said to maybe give it 45 minutes, but if it didn't get below 100.5 I was to come to the emergency room. I stalled & checked. And stalled & checked. Finally more than an hour passed & it was still above 101. Not good. Sandra started getting prepared to drive me to the emergency room. I stalled about another 15 minutes & checked & it was 100.3. Good enough for me! I told Sandra to stop trying to detract from me by claiming to be sick! I could always out do her!
This morning Sandra went to let the dogs out & discovered she had not FULLY secured the kennel locks. The dogs had a blast all night! Empty chocolate wrappers everywhere. Shoes moved around. Other stuff dogs should ONLY do outside! What a mess!
I wonder if she will be a bit more throughal next time!!!
Vanessa & I had a dentist appointment at 9am. SO MUCH FUN! Now my mouth is numb. Gotta go back in 2 weeks.
When I got back from the Dentist, Sandra said the infusion room called & wants me in there Thursday!!! Hey, looks like I will be PARTYING for NEW YEARS EVE!!! (jk)
Jim
Got a call from my Dr's nurse telling me the results of the blood tests done last Wednesday. SURPRISE! Low in iron. Low in vitamin B12. Low in two different blood counts (don't fully understand them, but know what they are and what they should be at).
One 2 weeks ago was at 33 & 6 days later it was at 30. They should be between 40-50.
The other was at 9.3 & normal is 17.
COULD THAT BE WHY I AM SO WEAK!!!
They want to get me in & boost these things. Iron would take months to get up to normal by taking pills, so they want to give me 2 units of whole blood. Also an IV of B12. Plus other stuff. The only problem is the infusion lab is overbooked this week. Oh well, I have been like this for over a month... what's another week.
Sandra wanted the two dogs inside for the night as it is just so cold right now. She brought them in & put them into the two kennels.
Just after 11pm, I was about to call it a night & out of the blue Sandra asked my temperature. I checked & was shocked! I have been told that if it gets above 100.4 I have to call the Dr. on call & report it. My temperature was 102.9. DANG!!! We called & the Dr. said to take 30 minutes & see if it would drop on it's own. He then said to maybe give it 45 minutes, but if it didn't get below 100.5 I was to come to the emergency room. I stalled & checked. And stalled & checked. Finally more than an hour passed & it was still above 101. Not good. Sandra started getting prepared to drive me to the emergency room. I stalled about another 15 minutes & checked & it was 100.3. Good enough for me! I told Sandra to stop trying to detract from me by claiming to be sick! I could always out do her!
This morning Sandra went to let the dogs out & discovered she had not FULLY secured the kennel locks. The dogs had a blast all night! Empty chocolate wrappers everywhere. Shoes moved around. Other stuff dogs should ONLY do outside! What a mess!
I wonder if she will be a bit more throughal next time!!!
Vanessa & I had a dentist appointment at 9am. SO MUCH FUN! Now my mouth is numb. Gotta go back in 2 weeks.
When I got back from the Dentist, Sandra said the infusion room called & wants me in there Thursday!!! Hey, looks like I will be PARTYING for NEW YEARS EVE!!! (jk)
Jim
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Eve & Christmas Day
Oh how I love the spirit of Christmas! And this year was no different (in that aspect at least). I really feel that Christmas snuck up on me. Amazing how quickly it gets here when you just stay in the house & don't do much!
CHRISTMAS EVE
It was a quiet evening. Early in the evening I had two people from my church come over to give me a blessing. I have received blessings before (including a blessing from an Apostle of the Lord) but I just felt I wanted another one. I wasn't looking for a miracle or anything like that. And the blessing from these two people that I hold in such high esteem gave me a most beautiful blessing. The things in the blessing were just what I needed to hear. Blessings of a clear mind as important decisions come and need to be made. That the Lord is very mindful of me and my situation. It was such a comfort to me. Thanks!
In the evening, the doorbell rang & there was a UPS package delivered on the porch. I opened it up & it was from my niece that lives in Texas. She sent the most touching, love-filled, funny package! Each item had a note attached. Here is what was included.
A neck pillow: May your neck be strong enough to hold you head up high during this trial.
Truffles: Cancer is nothing to be "triffled" with, so attack it with gusto!
Hershey's Hugs & Kisses candy: Since we can't be there to hug you in person, this is the next best thing!
Kleenex packages: For wiping tears of those who aren't as strong as you are.
Lip Balm: Balm of Gilead (Bible dictionary) An aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds.
Melt Away Stress lotion: Stress? What the, what's that? Yeah right!
Neosporin "Neo to Go!" : Mr. Creep, it's time TO GO!
Jelly Belly jelly beans: We love yer guts! And we love your belly, even though we hate the intruder in it!
Plush stockings: You can de"feet: this Creepy intruder: take one step at a time!
Kate, That was AMAZING!!! I LOVED IT!!! THANKS!!!
My Mom prepared a most delicious dinner & came & enjoyed it with us. It was wonderful. Then it was a quiet evening & off to bed.
CHRISTMAS DAY
Sandra & I got up & she placed the gifts around the tree. She cooked a delicious breakfast & then I called my Mom to come over & watch the kids open presents & eat breakfast.
The kids were given an abundance of gifts. The amazing thing is that neither Sandra or I had gotten anything. A week or two ago, Sandra's work asked if they could provide a Christmas for our family. And they did it outstanding. I am sure that the kids got a better Christmas than if I was healthy & wealthy!
The gifts were tailored exactly to what they would have wanted if they had prepared a list themselves. Thanks to all those at Sandra's work for blessing our lives!
At 10 am we got to call Daniel, our missionary in Mexico! That was so fun! We got to speak for about 1 hour. It was so fun & enjoyable (mostly) except for the few moments at the end when the conversation turned to me & my health! He is struggling with it (as well be expected!) but I assured him that we will keep him updated as things progress. And that we would NEVER keep important things from him. I feel he was at peace with that.
The rest of the day was low key. It included speaking to each of my siblings. What a treat for me!
Merry Christmas to you all!!!
CHRISTMAS EVE
It was a quiet evening. Early in the evening I had two people from my church come over to give me a blessing. I have received blessings before (including a blessing from an Apostle of the Lord) but I just felt I wanted another one. I wasn't looking for a miracle or anything like that. And the blessing from these two people that I hold in such high esteem gave me a most beautiful blessing. The things in the blessing were just what I needed to hear. Blessings of a clear mind as important decisions come and need to be made. That the Lord is very mindful of me and my situation. It was such a comfort to me. Thanks!
In the evening, the doorbell rang & there was a UPS package delivered on the porch. I opened it up & it was from my niece that lives in Texas. She sent the most touching, love-filled, funny package! Each item had a note attached. Here is what was included.
A neck pillow: May your neck be strong enough to hold you head up high during this trial.
Truffles: Cancer is nothing to be "triffled" with, so attack it with gusto!
Hershey's Hugs & Kisses candy: Since we can't be there to hug you in person, this is the next best thing!
Kleenex packages: For wiping tears of those who aren't as strong as you are.
Lip Balm: Balm of Gilead (Bible dictionary) An aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds.
Melt Away Stress lotion: Stress? What the, what's that? Yeah right!
Neosporin "Neo to Go!" : Mr. Creep, it's time TO GO!
Jelly Belly jelly beans: We love yer guts! And we love your belly, even though we hate the intruder in it!
Plush stockings: You can de"feet: this Creepy intruder: take one step at a time!
Kate, That was AMAZING!!! I LOVED IT!!! THANKS!!!
My Mom prepared a most delicious dinner & came & enjoyed it with us. It was wonderful. Then it was a quiet evening & off to bed.
CHRISTMAS DAY
Sandra & I got up & she placed the gifts around the tree. She cooked a delicious breakfast & then I called my Mom to come over & watch the kids open presents & eat breakfast.
The kids were given an abundance of gifts. The amazing thing is that neither Sandra or I had gotten anything. A week or two ago, Sandra's work asked if they could provide a Christmas for our family. And they did it outstanding. I am sure that the kids got a better Christmas than if I was healthy & wealthy!
The gifts were tailored exactly to what they would have wanted if they had prepared a list themselves. Thanks to all those at Sandra's work for blessing our lives!
At 10 am we got to call Daniel, our missionary in Mexico! That was so fun! We got to speak for about 1 hour. It was so fun & enjoyable (mostly) except for the few moments at the end when the conversation turned to me & my health! He is struggling with it (as well be expected!) but I assured him that we will keep him updated as things progress. And that we would NEVER keep important things from him. I feel he was at peace with that.
The rest of the day was low key. It included speaking to each of my siblings. What a treat for me!
Merry Christmas to you all!!!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
BLOWN AWAY tonight!!! (bonus entry for Wed)
Tonight I was laying in bed... just after 8:30 pm... suddenly a couple guys walk into my room & tell me it's time I get my lazy self out of bed & help. Then then tell me that I am getting a brand new mattress!!! I NEVER saw it coming! I had been wishing I could get a new mattress, as ours is old & it loves to give me little extra pains in the back. I went downstairs so they could haul it out & replace it. Just then Santa entered the house!!! Blown away again!!!
Thank you to whoever brought this all together!!! I so deeply appreciate it!!!
Thank you to whoever brought this all together!!! I so deeply appreciate it!!!
Doctor Day Wednesday
Today I had a followup appointment with my cancer specialist. Nothing earth shattering, but it was good to meet with her. I told her how exhausted I constantly am & so she had blood work done & within the next day or so, see if I am iron deficient (I suspect I am).
This afternoon an angel appeared at my house. My Mom came over to do some household chores to help offload Sandra. It was so greatly appreciated!
My mouth has now developed cold sensitivity. A cold drink of milk or water, etc, just sends such weird sensations through my mouth. I no longer desire to drink anything cold. But they warned me this would happen.
Other than that, not much else to report...
Hey rumor has it that TOMORROW is CHRISTMAS EVE!!! DANG, I didn't even see that coming!
Jim
This afternoon an angel appeared at my house. My Mom came over to do some household chores to help offload Sandra. It was so greatly appreciated!
My mouth has now developed cold sensitivity. A cold drink of milk or water, etc, just sends such weird sensations through my mouth. I no longer desire to drink anything cold. But they warned me this would happen.
Other than that, not much else to report...
Hey rumor has it that TOMORROW is CHRISTMAS EVE!!! DANG, I didn't even see that coming!
Jim
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday
Today I awoke & realized that if I am going to keep up with my goal of attending the temple EVERY WEEK while Daniel is serving the Lord on a mission in Mexico, and CHristmas is THIS WEEK, that I better get my lazy butt out of bed & head to the temple. I called my Mom to join Sandra & myself. And off we went.
It was a challenge. Especially after doing the initiatory work I went there for. Turns out I was left at the lockers area with nobody to push the wheelchair. I struggled to wheel it out & to a common area. It took a good deal of strength (which I don't really have) & it required a very slow pace filled with plenty of stops. I felt invisible as nearly 2 dozen people passed me, possibly seeing my weakness. But then I thought that these people were probably rushing to get temple attendance in before Christmas. I'm sure they were preoccupied with their own challenges & stresses of the season. End of my pity party!
Sandra saw me & rushed to my emotional rescue! Thanks honey!
It still was a nice time to be in the temple & to be with my wife & Mom.
When I got home, I was drained. Normally I am always tired, but never looking for a nap during the day. But not today!
There were other things throughout the rest of the day, but nothing of real significance to include here. Wouldn't want to bore those that actually look at this (probably way too late for that!!! sorry).
Just after 8 tonight I turned on the TV & one of Daniel's most favorite Christmas shows was just starting. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I called Ryan in to come watch it. I told him he would laugh through this show. It didn't take long before he was laughing! Shortly into it, he said Dad it's good that we are together now just spending some quality time together. We need to do more of this! I thought how touching it is for him & so important for me too. What a special kid that really doesn't fully understand what is going on. Just a few days ago he asked Mom, Is cancer contageous? What a poor little kid worrying about his Dad & trying to be strong, yet not get what Dad has.
Please go spend an extra few minutes with someone special to you!
I am looking forward to a good night sleep.
Love to you all!!!
Jim
It was a challenge. Especially after doing the initiatory work I went there for. Turns out I was left at the lockers area with nobody to push the wheelchair. I struggled to wheel it out & to a common area. It took a good deal of strength (which I don't really have) & it required a very slow pace filled with plenty of stops. I felt invisible as nearly 2 dozen people passed me, possibly seeing my weakness. But then I thought that these people were probably rushing to get temple attendance in before Christmas. I'm sure they were preoccupied with their own challenges & stresses of the season. End of my pity party!
Sandra saw me & rushed to my emotional rescue! Thanks honey!
It still was a nice time to be in the temple & to be with my wife & Mom.
When I got home, I was drained. Normally I am always tired, but never looking for a nap during the day. But not today!
There were other things throughout the rest of the day, but nothing of real significance to include here. Wouldn't want to bore those that actually look at this (probably way too late for that!!! sorry).
Just after 8 tonight I turned on the TV & one of Daniel's most favorite Christmas shows was just starting. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I called Ryan in to come watch it. I told him he would laugh through this show. It didn't take long before he was laughing! Shortly into it, he said Dad it's good that we are together now just spending some quality time together. We need to do more of this! I thought how touching it is for him & so important for me too. What a special kid that really doesn't fully understand what is going on. Just a few days ago he asked Mom, Is cancer contageous? What a poor little kid worrying about his Dad & trying to be strong, yet not get what Dad has.
Please go spend an extra few minutes with someone special to you!
I am looking forward to a good night sleep.
Love to you all!!!
Jim
Monday, December 21, 2009
Different day
This evening I really didn't feel like writing a blog. But after reading comments again from the past, I feel I need to.
There really isn't anything different to comment on.
I did run a few errands today, or I should say DROVE a few errands.
A few with my FAVORITE daughter! Oh how I love her! And today she greeted me with a most beautiful smile! Made my day! My year!!!
I stopped by the post office to check my P.O. box. As I walked in, there was a sign that said FREE BACK MASSAGE! A massage company had set up a few chairs & were offering massages in light of stress at the post office (maybe to keep the post office employees from going POSTAL!)
I had awakened with a sore back & decided to take advantage of the offer. It was delightful!
Late this afternoon, I climbed in bed, exhausted. I thought I want to call my Mom to come spend some time with me. As I reached for the phone, I heard her angelic voice just entering my house! She is AMAZING! She came & laid by my side - held my hand - and we just talked & rested. Life doesn't get better than that!
Tonight I had the opportunity of having 3 of the 4 families I am supposed to home teach each month (but have not been diligent at it) come over to my house. In a very selfish move I asked them to come to me to be taught! My home teaching partner prepared a most touching Christmas story & his dear sweet wife had brought freshly made cinnamon rolls. DANG if only home teaching could be like this each month! The spirit was strong. I was lifted up a bit.
It is now time to call it an evening. Go upstairs & spend some quiet, quality time with my dear sweet wife that is forever being of service to my needs - little or great!
Good night Friends!!!
I love you each!!!
Jim
There really isn't anything different to comment on.
I did run a few errands today, or I should say DROVE a few errands.
A few with my FAVORITE daughter! Oh how I love her! And today she greeted me with a most beautiful smile! Made my day! My year!!!
I stopped by the post office to check my P.O. box. As I walked in, there was a sign that said FREE BACK MASSAGE! A massage company had set up a few chairs & were offering massages in light of stress at the post office (maybe to keep the post office employees from going POSTAL!)
I had awakened with a sore back & decided to take advantage of the offer. It was delightful!
Late this afternoon, I climbed in bed, exhausted. I thought I want to call my Mom to come spend some time with me. As I reached for the phone, I heard her angelic voice just entering my house! She is AMAZING! She came & laid by my side - held my hand - and we just talked & rested. Life doesn't get better than that!
Tonight I had the opportunity of having 3 of the 4 families I am supposed to home teach each month (but have not been diligent at it) come over to my house. In a very selfish move I asked them to come to me to be taught! My home teaching partner prepared a most touching Christmas story & his dear sweet wife had brought freshly made cinnamon rolls. DANG if only home teaching could be like this each month! The spirit was strong. I was lifted up a bit.
It is now time to call it an evening. Go upstairs & spend some quiet, quality time with my dear sweet wife that is forever being of service to my needs - little or great!
Good night Friends!!!
I love you each!!!
Jim
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday-Outpouring of love & treats
Today I attended the Sacrament portion of church. It was nice because it was filled with the Christmas message of the birth of Our Dear Saviour Jesus Christ. But I must admit that before the meeting ended, I was ready to leave. I was greeted by so many well wishers, expressing their love & faith & prayers for me. That means so much to me!
This afternoon, there were many people that stopped by with little things of appreciation. THANKS!!!
I am tired, but feeling good. Much better than I would have expected for starting chemotherapy.
Thank you Dear Lord for your continued outpouring of peace & comfort, to help carry me through these difficult times. And Thanks for the friends & loved ones that are pouring their love & support to me!
By all of this, I clearly am being strengthened!
Jim
This afternoon, there were many people that stopped by with little things of appreciation. THANKS!!!
I am tired, but feeling good. Much better than I would have expected for starting chemotherapy.
Thank you Dear Lord for your continued outpouring of peace & comfort, to help carry me through these difficult times. And Thanks for the friends & loved ones that are pouring their love & support to me!
By all of this, I clearly am being strengthened!
Jim
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sleepy Saturday
My goodness! Today I have been so very sleepy!!! Cat nap after cat nap. What's up with that? You'd think I actually did something to deserve a nap.
The good news is that I don't really have any pain. Maybe I slept through it!!!
With a day filled with sleeping, I guess there isn't really much else to say!
The good news is that I don't really have any pain. Maybe I slept through it!!!
With a day filled with sleeping, I guess there isn't really much else to say!
The Day After!!!
It's the day after the REAL battle began!
I can only imagine just how surprised and caught off guard that dastardly cancer CRAP was to see the Chemo military coming in with an all out assault!
That night I expected to have a challenging night. I did wake up twice during the night, but went right back to sleep. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
I expected nausea... but only really got a bit in the final minutes of the ride home. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
I expected the next day (Friday) to be trying & challenging. But surprisingly enough, I actually felt just a tiny tiny bit better than the last several days. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
Hey, not too bad!!!
I did find myself sleepy throughout the day. Actually caught a couple quick cat naps. Figured I was resting for the battle inside!
All in all, BETTER THAN EXPECTED!!!
I do realize it's extremely early in this horrible battle.
I do realize I will have days that bring me to my knees (but while I'm brought to that point, I just say an additional prayer, and then get back up!)
Thanks for the continues outpouring of love & support. It amazes me & gives me additional strength & encouragment!
I love each of you for being there for me!
Love,
Jim
I can only imagine just how surprised and caught off guard that dastardly cancer CRAP was to see the Chemo military coming in with an all out assault!
That night I expected to have a challenging night. I did wake up twice during the night, but went right back to sleep. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
I expected nausea... but only really got a bit in the final minutes of the ride home. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
I expected the next day (Friday) to be trying & challenging. But surprisingly enough, I actually felt just a tiny tiny bit better than the last several days. BETTER THAN EXPECTED!
Hey, not too bad!!!
I did find myself sleepy throughout the day. Actually caught a couple quick cat naps. Figured I was resting for the battle inside!
All in all, BETTER THAN EXPECTED!!!
I do realize it's extremely early in this horrible battle.
I do realize I will have days that bring me to my knees (but while I'm brought to that point, I just say an additional prayer, and then get back up!)
Thanks for the continues outpouring of love & support. It amazes me & gives me additional strength & encouragment!
I love each of you for being there for me!
Love,
Jim
Friday, December 18, 2009
Killer Day!!!
Thursday was a KILLER DAY!!!
And I LOVED that idea!!!
I started chemotherapy! YEA!!! As it started I said HEY ALL YOU EVIL CREAPY cancer CRAP that has had free reign inside my body for so long, NOW THE BATTLE BEGINS!!!
I spoke with a Doctor that said by the time you wake up in the morning, there will be DEAD cancer cells to be flushed out! I LOVE THAT!!!
Before starting my chemo treatment at 1pm, they wanted me to go to another place to check out my heart. I walked down the hall with the technician & at one point I said let me know if I am going too fast for you (I was DRAGGING SLOW!). She laughed. She took me into a room & looked at the orders & in a shocked, surprised voice said are you aware they want you on a treadmill. I said I could handle being on the treadmill, as long as they didn't turn it on! She said it starts out slow but increases in speed & incline every 3 minutes. She then said she was going to page the Doctor to verify the orders. A few minutes later she came back & said they just want me to lay on my side & they will do an ultrasound. WHAT A RELIEF!!! I PASSED THE TREADMILL TEST!!! Or should I say I BYPASSED the treadmill test!
By 12:30 I was over to the Infusion lab. They started by accessing the port a Doctor had previously surgically inserted under my colar bone. It goes directly into a larger vein. After they accessed the port, I can honestly say I LOVE THAT PORT!!!
They drew blood to do lab work on me. It takes between 45-60 minutes to get the results. Then a nurse came over & started an IV. I lost count of the number of different bags of stuff they gave me. First something to hydrate me, then a steroid, then something to fight nausa, then something else, then finally came the chemo. 3 or 4 different chemo types. Those required the nurse to not hand as an IV drip, but a syringe timed push. Then additional IV drips, then a flush, then a lubricant for the port. Then I was done. It was now 6pm (after starting at 12:30) WOW!
But I have to admit they treated me so good. And I had an extra BONUS for me. My brother is a volunteer at the Infusion room on Fridays. He wanted me to get treatment on Friday, but it was booked. I then told him if I got it on Friday he would see me, but would be so busy helping every one else. But with me there on Thursday, he could devote his entire attention to me. Originally I invited him to be there because I knew it was what he wanted & was important to him. But it didn't take long up there for me to realize I was the one that REALLY wanted & needed him there for me! He was AMAZING!!! He knew just what patients wanted or needed & he was so proactive! And whenever I asked for something, he immediately took care of me! I even got him to rub my back, because my back was bothering me. Later I asked him to remove my shoes. He got up, went across the room & returned with surgical gloves on to remove them. WHAT A BUM! Brent, THANKS can't express the appreciation for your long hours there solely for me! Having you there... PRICELESS!!!
Also my dear friend & resource, Dr. John Ward stopped in to check on me. In fact, he stopped in TWICE! It was so comforting to me when I see him or hear his voice! THANKS THANKS THANKS!!!
On the ride home, just before getting to the house, I felt I was going to loose it. Before getting out of the car,I asked Sandra to get a bucket for me... just in case. Turns out I think the ride home was what bothered me. I quickly calmed down.
I had a short visit with Brent & Louise (2 of my siblings) & my Mom. Then they left to give Brent a ride home (he ahd gotten there by Trax & I just didn't want him to go that way back home this late all just to be there for me!.
I rested & retired early for the night. I had a slight sense of upset stomach, but not bad at all. I awoke twice during the night, but just briefly. I felt I had a good night's sleep!
Oh, by the way, Laurie, I wore the CANCER SUCKS socks there. The nurse loved them! And I enjoyed a bit of the caramel! YUM!!!
And thanks for the dinner that was brought in. Even though I didn't feel up to eating, it was nice I could share some with my brother that had given up so much of his day & evening just for me. He enjoyed the food.
Thanks to all of you that are sharing your thoughts, love & prayers in my behalf. I may not reply, but I do read each comment MULTIPLE TIMES!!! Keep it up!!! It helps my spirits!
As I said at the first, it was a KILLER DAY!!! And I LOVE IT!!!
Jim, the cancer SLAYER!!!
And I LOVED that idea!!!
I started chemotherapy! YEA!!! As it started I said HEY ALL YOU EVIL CREAPY cancer CRAP that has had free reign inside my body for so long, NOW THE BATTLE BEGINS!!!
I spoke with a Doctor that said by the time you wake up in the morning, there will be DEAD cancer cells to be flushed out! I LOVE THAT!!!
Before starting my chemo treatment at 1pm, they wanted me to go to another place to check out my heart. I walked down the hall with the technician & at one point I said let me know if I am going too fast for you (I was DRAGGING SLOW!). She laughed. She took me into a room & looked at the orders & in a shocked, surprised voice said are you aware they want you on a treadmill. I said I could handle being on the treadmill, as long as they didn't turn it on! She said it starts out slow but increases in speed & incline every 3 minutes. She then said she was going to page the Doctor to verify the orders. A few minutes later she came back & said they just want me to lay on my side & they will do an ultrasound. WHAT A RELIEF!!! I PASSED THE TREADMILL TEST!!! Or should I say I BYPASSED the treadmill test!
By 12:30 I was over to the Infusion lab. They started by accessing the port a Doctor had previously surgically inserted under my colar bone. It goes directly into a larger vein. After they accessed the port, I can honestly say I LOVE THAT PORT!!!
They drew blood to do lab work on me. It takes between 45-60 minutes to get the results. Then a nurse came over & started an IV. I lost count of the number of different bags of stuff they gave me. First something to hydrate me, then a steroid, then something to fight nausa, then something else, then finally came the chemo. 3 or 4 different chemo types. Those required the nurse to not hand as an IV drip, but a syringe timed push. Then additional IV drips, then a flush, then a lubricant for the port. Then I was done. It was now 6pm (after starting at 12:30) WOW!
But I have to admit they treated me so good. And I had an extra BONUS for me. My brother is a volunteer at the Infusion room on Fridays. He wanted me to get treatment on Friday, but it was booked. I then told him if I got it on Friday he would see me, but would be so busy helping every one else. But with me there on Thursday, he could devote his entire attention to me. Originally I invited him to be there because I knew it was what he wanted & was important to him. But it didn't take long up there for me to realize I was the one that REALLY wanted & needed him there for me! He was AMAZING!!! He knew just what patients wanted or needed & he was so proactive! And whenever I asked for something, he immediately took care of me! I even got him to rub my back, because my back was bothering me. Later I asked him to remove my shoes. He got up, went across the room & returned with surgical gloves on to remove them. WHAT A BUM! Brent, THANKS can't express the appreciation for your long hours there solely for me! Having you there... PRICELESS!!!
Also my dear friend & resource, Dr. John Ward stopped in to check on me. In fact, he stopped in TWICE! It was so comforting to me when I see him or hear his voice! THANKS THANKS THANKS!!!
On the ride home, just before getting to the house, I felt I was going to loose it. Before getting out of the car,I asked Sandra to get a bucket for me... just in case. Turns out I think the ride home was what bothered me. I quickly calmed down.
I had a short visit with Brent & Louise (2 of my siblings) & my Mom. Then they left to give Brent a ride home (he ahd gotten there by Trax & I just didn't want him to go that way back home this late all just to be there for me!.
I rested & retired early for the night. I had a slight sense of upset stomach, but not bad at all. I awoke twice during the night, but just briefly. I felt I had a good night's sleep!
Oh, by the way, Laurie, I wore the CANCER SUCKS socks there. The nurse loved them! And I enjoyed a bit of the caramel! YUM!!!
And thanks for the dinner that was brought in. Even though I didn't feel up to eating, it was nice I could share some with my brother that had given up so much of his day & evening just for me. He enjoyed the food.
Thanks to all of you that are sharing your thoughts, love & prayers in my behalf. I may not reply, but I do read each comment MULTIPLE TIMES!!! Keep it up!!! It helps my spirits!
As I said at the first, it was a KILLER DAY!!! And I LOVE IT!!!
Jim, the cancer SLAYER!!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Unbelievable 24 hours!!!
The last 24 hours has been nothing short of UNBELIEVABLE!!!
Now before you rush to judgement, let me clarify that I didn't say it was GOOD!!! I didn't say it was BAD!!! I just said it was UNBELIEVABLE!!! And that can go either way. And in my case, it went BOTH ways!
I like to save the good for last, so I will start with the bad!
Tuesday evening my wife came to me with nothing short of a meltdown! Poor woman, so much being thrust onto her plate! This meltdown was surrounding the rentals that I own & manage. I have been a landlord for 19 years. I currently have several rentals that involve about 20 or so tenants. She came saying, in tears, that she doesn't know how to screen & select tenants. She doesn't know how to handle repairs. She went on & on. I assured her that I can teach her the screening process of selecting a tenant. I said we don't really have much in the area of repairs... occasionally something pops up, but I will make sure there are people for her to turn to.
She relaxed some...
About an hour later I get a call from a tenant stating there was a strong smell of natural gas & so she called the gas company. They came & checked it out & said the water heater had a bad part & that the whole thing needed to be replaced. They also said the furnace had a clogged portion of the combustion chamber & needed to be cleand. They then shut off the gas. This tenant said she had a place to go for the night.
I immediately called a neighbor plumber in the area & asked him to please check it out the next day, which he did willingly.
Wednesday evening he stopped by & reported in that the water heater is now functioning, but eventually will need to be replaced. He also said the furnace was functioning, but may need a repair in the future. He lit both the furnace & the water heater. He also said the kitchen sink was dripping... Well he actually said it was streaming. He said it was all messed up but he reworked it & got it taken care of.
About an hour later, in the middle of a meeting at my house, my wife got a call that our old house we rent out, the basement flooded! I went to check it out & found that the girls that live there had called their home teachers to come help & they had several guys over using shop vacs to get the water up. I realized I wasn't up to the challenge, so I went back to my neighbor plumber & said HELP! He came over & immediately said the main sewer had backed up. He said he stopped servicing main sewer lines some time ago, but that he had a good friend that handled that. Within minutes he was on the phone & had arranged for this person to resolve the issue.
As I was heading home, I thought to myself (actually outloud) LORD why all this right now?
As a bit of time passed, I rethought my thoughts. I was totally exhausted & just needed to lay down. It became so clear to me the reason!
It wasn't that the Lord had abandoned me, or just "allowed" this to all be dumped on me. Or to totally undermind the confidence I had been attempting to provide my dear sweet wife. No, not at all!
And as I laid down I realized that I was laying down while the storm raged around me. But I was being able to rest while others were helping to carry the burden. The Lord had just shown us that when things come upon us... if my wife is left without me, and problems pop up at the rentals, that there ARE people that the Lord has placed in our path to help share the burden.
What an amazing lesson I just learned! What an amazing change of perspective! Same problem, different eyes!
Now for the UNBELIEVABLE from the good perspective.
I was able to go to the temple with my wife & Mom! I had to rely on a wheelchair to conserve strength, but I was able to attend!
When I got home, there had been & continued to be people stopping by with kind gestures of love.
One was from a tenant of mine. Keiko, THANKS!
One was from Carl Barton. Carl (and Jami) THANKS!
And one that I absolutely LOVE was from the dear Leonhardts. This made me laugh!
There was a bag & a card. The card started out saying "Dear Jim: Here's a little something to help you through your first day of chemo."
Inside the bag was some homemade caramels! (I LOVE caramel!!!)
It also had a mix for lemonade. It said When life give you lemons, make lemonade!
There were a couple of magazines to read.
And my ABSOLUTE MOST FAVORITE!!! That which will accomply me to my first (and probably every subsequent chemo trip) was a pair of socks.
It simply says on the socks "CANCER SUCKS!"
Laurie, I cried when I read the first line of your card. And I cried when I saw the socks. Tears of joy. Tears of appreciation. Tears of laughter.
Yes the last 24 hours has been UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I can hardly wait for the next 24 hours!!!!!!!!
Love to all that are following my blog & thanks to all the outpouring of love & support. It is helping me walk this scary path!
Jim
Now before you rush to judgement, let me clarify that I didn't say it was GOOD!!! I didn't say it was BAD!!! I just said it was UNBELIEVABLE!!! And that can go either way. And in my case, it went BOTH ways!
I like to save the good for last, so I will start with the bad!
Tuesday evening my wife came to me with nothing short of a meltdown! Poor woman, so much being thrust onto her plate! This meltdown was surrounding the rentals that I own & manage. I have been a landlord for 19 years. I currently have several rentals that involve about 20 or so tenants. She came saying, in tears, that she doesn't know how to screen & select tenants. She doesn't know how to handle repairs. She went on & on. I assured her that I can teach her the screening process of selecting a tenant. I said we don't really have much in the area of repairs... occasionally something pops up, but I will make sure there are people for her to turn to.
She relaxed some...
About an hour later I get a call from a tenant stating there was a strong smell of natural gas & so she called the gas company. They came & checked it out & said the water heater had a bad part & that the whole thing needed to be replaced. They also said the furnace had a clogged portion of the combustion chamber & needed to be cleand. They then shut off the gas. This tenant said she had a place to go for the night.
I immediately called a neighbor plumber in the area & asked him to please check it out the next day, which he did willingly.
Wednesday evening he stopped by & reported in that the water heater is now functioning, but eventually will need to be replaced. He also said the furnace was functioning, but may need a repair in the future. He lit both the furnace & the water heater. He also said the kitchen sink was dripping... Well he actually said it was streaming. He said it was all messed up but he reworked it & got it taken care of.
About an hour later, in the middle of a meeting at my house, my wife got a call that our old house we rent out, the basement flooded! I went to check it out & found that the girls that live there had called their home teachers to come help & they had several guys over using shop vacs to get the water up. I realized I wasn't up to the challenge, so I went back to my neighbor plumber & said HELP! He came over & immediately said the main sewer had backed up. He said he stopped servicing main sewer lines some time ago, but that he had a good friend that handled that. Within minutes he was on the phone & had arranged for this person to resolve the issue.
As I was heading home, I thought to myself (actually outloud) LORD why all this right now?
As a bit of time passed, I rethought my thoughts. I was totally exhausted & just needed to lay down. It became so clear to me the reason!
It wasn't that the Lord had abandoned me, or just "allowed" this to all be dumped on me. Or to totally undermind the confidence I had been attempting to provide my dear sweet wife. No, not at all!
And as I laid down I realized that I was laying down while the storm raged around me. But I was being able to rest while others were helping to carry the burden. The Lord had just shown us that when things come upon us... if my wife is left without me, and problems pop up at the rentals, that there ARE people that the Lord has placed in our path to help share the burden.
What an amazing lesson I just learned! What an amazing change of perspective! Same problem, different eyes!
Now for the UNBELIEVABLE from the good perspective.
I was able to go to the temple with my wife & Mom! I had to rely on a wheelchair to conserve strength, but I was able to attend!
When I got home, there had been & continued to be people stopping by with kind gestures of love.
One was from a tenant of mine. Keiko, THANKS!
One was from Carl Barton. Carl (and Jami) THANKS!
And one that I absolutely LOVE was from the dear Leonhardts. This made me laugh!
There was a bag & a card. The card started out saying "Dear Jim: Here's a little something to help you through your first day of chemo."
Inside the bag was some homemade caramels! (I LOVE caramel!!!)
It also had a mix for lemonade. It said When life give you lemons, make lemonade!
There were a couple of magazines to read.
And my ABSOLUTE MOST FAVORITE!!! That which will accomply me to my first (and probably every subsequent chemo trip) was a pair of socks.
It simply says on the socks "CANCER SUCKS!"
Laurie, I cried when I read the first line of your card. And I cried when I saw the socks. Tears of joy. Tears of appreciation. Tears of laughter.
Yes the last 24 hours has been UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I can hardly wait for the next 24 hours!!!!!!!!
Love to all that are following my blog & thanks to all the outpouring of love & support. It is helping me walk this scary path!
Jim
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tuesday (what a boring title!)
Today I was blessed with the visit of my Mom. When she showed up, I said I am the Luckiest Person in the World!!! She asked why & I said because my Mom is here for me!
She showed up to give me a back rub... complete with lotion! What a treat, because my back was really hurting today.
Later in the day she showed up again with an eclair for me! See, What an AMAZING Mom! But I felt so bad, as I had just TOTALLY PIGGED OUT!!! I ate a Peanutbutter & Jam sandwich!!! YUM!!! But there was NO ROOM left!
Hey a bit of good news (you have to take what you can find!) Two days ago I had dropped 4/10 of a pound & this morning I had gained exactly 4/10 of a pound back! Normally the lose of weight would be FANTASTIC, but not now! I was glad to see I got it right back!
This evening my sister, Louise (that has suffered more pains & surgeries than anybody I know) showed up with a gift for me. She said she drove around to 4 stores in search for a body pillow for me! Isn't she sweet!!!
Tomorrow is going to be an emotional day for my son on a mission in Mexico. Today I spoke with his Mission President to update him on my status. Tomorrow he will share it with Daniel. Please pray for Daniel to be strengthened! I want those prayers MUCH MORE than any prayers for me Thursday when I start chemo. I will do just fine, but I worry for sweet Daniel!
Thanks,
Jim
She showed up to give me a back rub... complete with lotion! What a treat, because my back was really hurting today.
Later in the day she showed up again with an eclair for me! See, What an AMAZING Mom! But I felt so bad, as I had just TOTALLY PIGGED OUT!!! I ate a Peanutbutter & Jam sandwich!!! YUM!!! But there was NO ROOM left!
Hey a bit of good news (you have to take what you can find!) Two days ago I had dropped 4/10 of a pound & this morning I had gained exactly 4/10 of a pound back! Normally the lose of weight would be FANTASTIC, but not now! I was glad to see I got it right back!
This evening my sister, Louise (that has suffered more pains & surgeries than anybody I know) showed up with a gift for me. She said she drove around to 4 stores in search for a body pillow for me! Isn't she sweet!!!
Tomorrow is going to be an emotional day for my son on a mission in Mexico. Today I spoke with his Mission President to update him on my status. Tomorrow he will share it with Daniel. Please pray for Daniel to be strengthened! I want those prayers MUCH MORE than any prayers for me Thursday when I start chemo. I will do just fine, but I worry for sweet Daniel!
Thanks,
Jim
Monday, December 14, 2009
New Week... New Experiences Waiting for me (us)...
My visits with the various specialists are now finished. Apparently I have a very shy biopsy, as it just really does not want to be recognized! But the Doctors have concluded that that is irrelevant and that they will just move on without that bit of information.
I have been prepped for starting chemotherapy this Thursday afternoon.
My first infusion treatment will have two special Buddies along side me. My dear sweet wife & my younger brother. My brother has been a volunteer at Huntsman Cancer Institute for several years. Over the past year or thereabouts, he has volunteered each Friday afternoon in the Infusion room (where patients receive chemotherapy injections). He wanted me to have my treatment on Friday, so that he could be there with me, but I said if it was on Friday, he would only be able to spend brief moments with me as he would need to tend to the needs of others there. But by having it on Thursday, he can sit with me & provide undivided time and attention to me without any guilt of depriving others. He now sees it is best.
I have no idea what to expect, but I am prepared & ready. I am looking forward to beginning the infusion. I'll tell you this, that CREAPY CANCER inside my body, that has had full, uninterupted reign on my body, is about to get a big surprise! I'm telling the chemo... NO MERCY!!!
I continue to be surprised & amazed at the tremendous outpouring of love & support both by those I know, but also by ones I do not even know. Thank you to all of you.
One such surprise just came to me. A most dear couple, Jeremy & Stacy Johnson, have approached me with a special treat they want to do in my behalf. Jeremy has just recently opened a CrossFit training center. If I were in a position to start fitness training I KNOW I would want to learn from and be trained by Jeremy Johnson!
He is offering a way to start the New Year out right - with a FREE workout training session on New Years Day. In conjunction with that, he is asking for donations of money, food, or whatever for my benefit. He has entitled it "Share In The Struggle" and will offer two levels of workouts. The first does not require previous training. The second one does (not for wimps like me!) Training begins at 10 am & the whole event will go from 10 am until 2 pm with food & friendships from 11 am until 2 pm.
If this is something that sounds of interest to you, please attend. If the workout scares you off, then come anyway & visit with me & others. I plan to be there to see others workout & to visit with you all.
I am so appreciative of Jeremy & Stacy for their thoughtfulness & willingness to help others out. Something that they have been known for for years! It will be near the corner of 2700 South & 2000 East at 2687 South Preston St (1 street West of 2000 East).
Here is a link to the invitation:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=243851459808
Even if you have no desire to work out, feel free to stop by & visit. Just your being there will be such a nice reward to me!
Thanks,
Jim
I have been prepped for starting chemotherapy this Thursday afternoon.
My first infusion treatment will have two special Buddies along side me. My dear sweet wife & my younger brother. My brother has been a volunteer at Huntsman Cancer Institute for several years. Over the past year or thereabouts, he has volunteered each Friday afternoon in the Infusion room (where patients receive chemotherapy injections). He wanted me to have my treatment on Friday, so that he could be there with me, but I said if it was on Friday, he would only be able to spend brief moments with me as he would need to tend to the needs of others there. But by having it on Thursday, he can sit with me & provide undivided time and attention to me without any guilt of depriving others. He now sees it is best.
I have no idea what to expect, but I am prepared & ready. I am looking forward to beginning the infusion. I'll tell you this, that CREAPY CANCER inside my body, that has had full, uninterupted reign on my body, is about to get a big surprise! I'm telling the chemo... NO MERCY!!!
I continue to be surprised & amazed at the tremendous outpouring of love & support both by those I know, but also by ones I do not even know. Thank you to all of you.
One such surprise just came to me. A most dear couple, Jeremy & Stacy Johnson, have approached me with a special treat they want to do in my behalf. Jeremy has just recently opened a CrossFit training center. If I were in a position to start fitness training I KNOW I would want to learn from and be trained by Jeremy Johnson!
He is offering a way to start the New Year out right - with a FREE workout training session on New Years Day. In conjunction with that, he is asking for donations of money, food, or whatever for my benefit. He has entitled it "Share In The Struggle" and will offer two levels of workouts. The first does not require previous training. The second one does (not for wimps like me!) Training begins at 10 am & the whole event will go from 10 am until 2 pm with food & friendships from 11 am until 2 pm.
If this is something that sounds of interest to you, please attend. If the workout scares you off, then come anyway & visit with me & others. I plan to be there to see others workout & to visit with you all.
I am so appreciative of Jeremy & Stacy for their thoughtfulness & willingness to help others out. Something that they have been known for for years! It will be near the corner of 2700 South & 2000 East at 2687 South Preston St (1 street West of 2000 East).
Here is a link to the invitation:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=243851459808
Even if you have no desire to work out, feel free to stop by & visit. Just your being there will be such a nice reward to me!
Thanks,
Jim
Sunday... Love the Lord's Day... The Lord's Way!!!
Sunday was AMAZING!!! As previously mentioned on my post for Saturday, our Stake was having Stake Conference. I just really wanted to attend, but didn't feel I had the strength. About 7:30 am I received a call stating they wanted Sandra & I to be at the Stake Office at 9:30 am because Elder Hales of the Qourum of the Twelve Apostles wanted to give me a Priesthood blessing! I was AMAZED!
I got there along with my wife & two of my kids, and my Mom. I was given a beautiful blessing filled with counsel & comfort. Not that I would be healed (although I would have loved that) but that I would not be alone through this path I must travel. That at some point in time, we all must travel.
After the blessing, Elder Hales said he wanted to speak to us. To my wife & my kids. We also spoke about my son on his mission. It was a special time.
After that, I had planned to head home, as I had come weak. But I felt that I needed to stay for the 2 hour meeting starting at 10am. Someone had saved us seats on the very front row. During the second half of the meeting, Elder Hales spoke. He referenced his previous interaction with me & then asked if I would come take a few moments to share my testimony & my experience. I was surprised, but very willing to do so. After I sat down, he said basically that he was not going to give the talk he had prepared, but wanted to speak directly to Brother & Sister Manwill. He had words of peace & comfort that was directed to us, but would apply to others facing challenges. He then spoke about Our Savior, Jesus Christ & the sacrafice he made for our behalf. It was most inspiring!
I am so thankful for that opportunity! It has a deep, long lasting impact in my life - no matter how long or short it may be.
Thanks to all that continue to express their love & support for me. Their prayers & faith are amazing & appreciated.
Jim
I got there along with my wife & two of my kids, and my Mom. I was given a beautiful blessing filled with counsel & comfort. Not that I would be healed (although I would have loved that) but that I would not be alone through this path I must travel. That at some point in time, we all must travel.
After the blessing, Elder Hales said he wanted to speak to us. To my wife & my kids. We also spoke about my son on his mission. It was a special time.
After that, I had planned to head home, as I had come weak. But I felt that I needed to stay for the 2 hour meeting starting at 10am. Someone had saved us seats on the very front row. During the second half of the meeting, Elder Hales spoke. He referenced his previous interaction with me & then asked if I would come take a few moments to share my testimony & my experience. I was surprised, but very willing to do so. After I sat down, he said basically that he was not going to give the talk he had prepared, but wanted to speak directly to Brother & Sister Manwill. He had words of peace & comfort that was directed to us, but would apply to others facing challenges. He then spoke about Our Savior, Jesus Christ & the sacrafice he made for our behalf. It was most inspiring!
I am so thankful for that opportunity! It has a deep, long lasting impact in my life - no matter how long or short it may be.
Thanks to all that continue to express their love & support for me. Their prayers & faith are amazing & appreciated.
Jim
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Saturday... In the Park...
Sorry for the titles thus far, as each post starts out with the day of the week... Cute... Cheezy!!! Don't worry, there's only 1 day I have written for yet. After Sunday I may shake up the titles!!! (This title comes from the band Chicago... Saturday in the park...)
Unfortunately this Saturday was NOT like a day in the park. But it wasn't a bad day.
For starters, let me mention (yet again) just how amazing my Mom is! She has known that it is not too uncommon over the past few weeks, that I get cold. She previously brought me her heating pad. This morning my dear, sweet wife found our electric blanket & placed it on the bed. Then in testing, she discovered it barely warmed up & only in a small portion. My Mom discovered that & shorty she was back saying Merry Christmas & she had a brand new electric blanket. She honestly is one of my Heros!!! Always has been... Always will be!!!
Today was supposed to be filled with a few Stake Conference meetings. One at 4pm & one at 7pm. I was even called several days ago & asked if I would offer one of the prayers at the 4pm meeting. I just felt that chances were I wouldn't feel up to attending. Even though it turned out to be correct, it was a disappointment to me as there are not one, but two visiting General Authorities. One from the Quorum of the Seventy & one from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (for those not familiar with the upper levels of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is WAY UP THERE!!!) Oh well, it turned out to be best that I didn't try to attend.
During the day I was blessed with a surprise visit from a dear lady that I highly admire & totally enjoy conversing with. Even though she has been a good friend of mine for some time, over the past several months she has become a favorite of mine on Facebook. In fact, she is the one that encouraged me to join Facebook. And now I am SO GLAD I have Facebook. It has become a source of strength to me with the comments of encouragment during these times. As has the comments posted on this boring blog! Please continue to read it, or at least just skip the reading & make a comment anyways. I'll never know that you didn't actually read!
Back to her visit. It did so much to lift my spirits. Thanks! And it gave me, or us both, things to laugh at. I enjoy laughing... but not too hard of laughing, it can hurt my side.
This evening I was able to meet (and terrorize) a young man that came to take my MOST FAVORITE daughter to the school Winter Formal dance. It was fun to try to instill fear into him. He said at the door that they were in a hurry to pick up the other couple, but I insisted there was time for the questions I had prepared. I even had a printed piece of paper in my hand (turns out the paper was just directions to the restaurant - but he didn't know that!). I said I would shorten the process and even eliminate the essay questions (the look on his face was priceless!). I then asked "What are the 7 virtues most important to a young lady? (slight pause, then I said) and you don't need to put them in the proper priority level." (another priceless look). My daughter was dying on the side!!! (another priceless look) I then cut him slack (yet again) and said I will just jump to the last part. I said "This is my MOST FAVORITE daughter... PLEASE take good care of her!" And with that they went out the door. What a hoot!!! Too bad I didn't have a a shotgun by the door for effects!!!
This entire day (as well as the last few days) my wife has been at my side for so much. And when she isn't she is not far away & willingly comes to help whatever I ask. She is amazing! Thanks Sweetheart!
Thanks again to all of you. For your words of encouragment. For your prayers & faith. I feel it!
Unfortunately this Saturday was NOT like a day in the park. But it wasn't a bad day.
For starters, let me mention (yet again) just how amazing my Mom is! She has known that it is not too uncommon over the past few weeks, that I get cold. She previously brought me her heating pad. This morning my dear, sweet wife found our electric blanket & placed it on the bed. Then in testing, she discovered it barely warmed up & only in a small portion. My Mom discovered that & shorty she was back saying Merry Christmas & she had a brand new electric blanket. She honestly is one of my Heros!!! Always has been... Always will be!!!
Today was supposed to be filled with a few Stake Conference meetings. One at 4pm & one at 7pm. I was even called several days ago & asked if I would offer one of the prayers at the 4pm meeting. I just felt that chances were I wouldn't feel up to attending. Even though it turned out to be correct, it was a disappointment to me as there are not one, but two visiting General Authorities. One from the Quorum of the Seventy & one from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (for those not familiar with the upper levels of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is WAY UP THERE!!!) Oh well, it turned out to be best that I didn't try to attend.
During the day I was blessed with a surprise visit from a dear lady that I highly admire & totally enjoy conversing with. Even though she has been a good friend of mine for some time, over the past several months she has become a favorite of mine on Facebook. In fact, she is the one that encouraged me to join Facebook. And now I am SO GLAD I have Facebook. It has become a source of strength to me with the comments of encouragment during these times. As has the comments posted on this boring blog! Please continue to read it, or at least just skip the reading & make a comment anyways. I'll never know that you didn't actually read!
Back to her visit. It did so much to lift my spirits. Thanks! And it gave me, or us both, things to laugh at. I enjoy laughing... but not too hard of laughing, it can hurt my side.
This evening I was able to meet (and terrorize) a young man that came to take my MOST FAVORITE daughter to the school Winter Formal dance. It was fun to try to instill fear into him. He said at the door that they were in a hurry to pick up the other couple, but I insisted there was time for the questions I had prepared. I even had a printed piece of paper in my hand (turns out the paper was just directions to the restaurant - but he didn't know that!). I said I would shorten the process and even eliminate the essay questions (the look on his face was priceless!). I then asked "What are the 7 virtues most important to a young lady? (slight pause, then I said) and you don't need to put them in the proper priority level." (another priceless look). My daughter was dying on the side!!! (another priceless look) I then cut him slack (yet again) and said I will just jump to the last part. I said "This is my MOST FAVORITE daughter... PLEASE take good care of her!" And with that they went out the door. What a hoot!!! Too bad I didn't have a a shotgun by the door for effects!!!
This entire day (as well as the last few days) my wife has been at my side for so much. And when she isn't she is not far away & willingly comes to help whatever I ask. She is amazing! Thanks Sweetheart!
Thanks again to all of you. For your words of encouragment. For your prayers & faith. I feel it!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Finally Friday!!!
It's Finally Friday!!! Great!!! Generally... but not particularly for me. Because it is just another day without any biopsy results. That means definitely no results Saturday or Sunday!
Oh well... What's another day or two or three.
I had the opportunity to talk to each of my siblings today. Crazy thing is that suddenly I have a bad impact on them or anybody else for that matter that I talk to. I've decided that I've just got a dark rain cloud right over me! It doesn't really rain on me, but it rains on everybody else I come in contact with!
Still feeling strong! Still feeling the amazing strength from My Lord and Savior!
I imagine you have each heard the poem of the footsteps on the sand. Suddenly now it has more impact in my life than ever before. I can HONESTLY say that I feel the Lord is carrying me right now!
If you are not familiar with the poem, here it is. But be warned... read it with a Kleenex!
I love you guys!!!
Jim
************* Footsteps in the Sand *************
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
Oh well... What's another day or two or three.
I had the opportunity to talk to each of my siblings today. Crazy thing is that suddenly I have a bad impact on them or anybody else for that matter that I talk to. I've decided that I've just got a dark rain cloud right over me! It doesn't really rain on me, but it rains on everybody else I come in contact with!
Still feeling strong! Still feeling the amazing strength from My Lord and Savior!
I imagine you have each heard the poem of the footsteps on the sand. Suddenly now it has more impact in my life than ever before. I can HONESTLY say that I feel the Lord is carrying me right now!
If you are not familiar with the poem, here it is. But be warned... read it with a Kleenex!
I love you guys!!!
Jim
************* Footsteps in the Sand *************
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tedious Thursday
Today has been long... Tedious... Some slight discomfort (SLIGHT). And Visiting medical staff. I know that you are all curious for an update. Additional enlightenment. ME TOO!!! But this DANG biopsy is just being stubborn! It is keeping its true idenity a secret. But I have some real good medical staff going to bat to try to reveil it's identity so that a gameplan can be formulated.
Maybe tomorrow... Maybe Monday...
Sorry I can't provide additional insight.
Thanks for your love & support!
Jim
Maybe tomorrow... Maybe Monday...
Sorry I can't provide additional insight.
Thanks for your love & support!
Jim
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wonderful Wednesday
Today has been another good day. Still no news, but a good day!
I ran some errands & was gone for nearly 3 hours (lots of time sitting in the car, but out running errands). Then I came home & rested before taking Vanessa to the ortho. That was another 2 hours away from home. I was amazed & impressed.
I am ready to go rest & then call it a night, but it was been a good day.
We are hoping that the rest of the results will be available for the Specialists by next week (sure takes longer than I would have anticipated or wanted).
Oh well, give that CREAPY cancer an additional head start!!!
Thanks for those who are reading these blog posts & especially for those that post comments of encouragment! It means so much to me!!!
Jim
I ran some errands & was gone for nearly 3 hours (lots of time sitting in the car, but out running errands). Then I came home & rested before taking Vanessa to the ortho. That was another 2 hours away from home. I was amazed & impressed.
I am ready to go rest & then call it a night, but it was been a good day.
We are hoping that the rest of the results will be available for the Specialists by next week (sure takes longer than I would have anticipated or wanted).
Oh well, give that CREAPY cancer an additional head start!!!
Thanks for those who are reading these blog posts & especially for those that post comments of encouragment! It means so much to me!!!
Jim
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Terrific Tuesday Becomes Temple Tuesday!
Terrific Tuesday Continues!!!
What a Terrific day! This evening I was still feeling good, so I decided to go to the Salt Lake Temple with my wife & Mom. However, I knew the only way I could go there for initiatory was if I could use a wheelchair. Sandra dropped Mom & myself off at the curb & then she went to part the car. Just inside the Temple are wheelchairs available to use. I sit down in one & have my Mom push me around. Must have been such a sight! The Temple workers were so caring & compassionate. I was overwhelmed thru so much of the time, the Spirit of the Lord was so strong!
As I was finished & waiting for my Mom & Wife to meet up with me, I saw our Bishop's wife. It was neat to speak with her for a moment. I'm sure she was surprised to see me there.
Got home & enjoyed a delicious dinner of lasagna that Brian Hill & family delivered last night. It sure hit the spot on this very cold night (at 8:15 pm it's 7 degrees outside)!!!
Looks like this Tuesday is the BEST DAY overall since the cancer CREAP made itself known!!!
Knowing that not all days can be this good, I do look forward to MANY MORE to come!!!
What a Terrific day! This evening I was still feeling good, so I decided to go to the Salt Lake Temple with my wife & Mom. However, I knew the only way I could go there for initiatory was if I could use a wheelchair. Sandra dropped Mom & myself off at the curb & then she went to part the car. Just inside the Temple are wheelchairs available to use. I sit down in one & have my Mom push me around. Must have been such a sight! The Temple workers were so caring & compassionate. I was overwhelmed thru so much of the time, the Spirit of the Lord was so strong!
As I was finished & waiting for my Mom & Wife to meet up with me, I saw our Bishop's wife. It was neat to speak with her for a moment. I'm sure she was surprised to see me there.
Got home & enjoyed a delicious dinner of lasagna that Brian Hill & family delivered last night. It sure hit the spot on this very cold night (at 8:15 pm it's 7 degrees outside)!!!
Looks like this Tuesday is the BEST DAY overall since the cancer CREAP made itself known!!!
Knowing that not all days can be this good, I do look forward to MANY MORE to come!!!
TERRIFIC Tuesday!!! (So Far!!!)
The day isn't close to being over... Heck it's just barely past Noon!!!
But there are no other words to say but...
DANG I AM FEELING GOOD!!!!!
This is the best I have felt since the CREAP arrived 16 days ago!!!
But let me tell you about over night... It really wasn't the same.
Just minutes before midnight I was heading to bed & felt not so good.
I felt like I couldn't stand straight. I even said,
HEY BODY, STOP WALKING LIKE A SICK PERSON. STAND UP STRAIGHT!!!
I got into bed & then heard my oldest son (Jeremy) come home. I thought I WISH HE WOULD COME TO MY ROOM FOR A MINUTE. I wanted to get a hug & kiss.
I laid there for about 5 minutes. Then I decided to get up & go find him. As I got to the end of the bed, he walked into my room. With tears on his face, he embraced me. I said lets go downstairs & talk. I had Jeremy help me down the stairs. Went to the couch & laid down & from midnight until after 2:30 am, he held my hand. We cried. I did a lot of listening & a bit of talking. And we embraced. It was MAGIC!!!
When we finally had to end, I was feeling SO MUCH BETTER... Physically!!! There was a bounce in my steps up the stairway.
When I awoke this morning, I still had it!!! Strength... both inside & outside.
And then just a moment ago the doorbell rang & it was sweet Lori Hilton with a treat for me. She didn't realize but it was a HOMERUN treat for me. It was more of the dessert from last Saturday evening's Ward Christmas dinner. When I ate it Saturday night I came home CRACING MORE!!! WISHING I HAD BROUGHT A PIECE HOME!!!
Lori, THANKS SO VERY MUCH!!!
Well, time to end for now... but I will post more... possibly tonight...
Until then...
KEEP CHEERING FOR ME!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Jim the Fighter
But there are no other words to say but...
DANG I AM FEELING GOOD!!!!!
This is the best I have felt since the CREAP arrived 16 days ago!!!
But let me tell you about over night... It really wasn't the same.
Just minutes before midnight I was heading to bed & felt not so good.
I felt like I couldn't stand straight. I even said,
HEY BODY, STOP WALKING LIKE A SICK PERSON. STAND UP STRAIGHT!!!
I got into bed & then heard my oldest son (Jeremy) come home. I thought I WISH HE WOULD COME TO MY ROOM FOR A MINUTE. I wanted to get a hug & kiss.
I laid there for about 5 minutes. Then I decided to get up & go find him. As I got to the end of the bed, he walked into my room. With tears on his face, he embraced me. I said lets go downstairs & talk. I had Jeremy help me down the stairs. Went to the couch & laid down & from midnight until after 2:30 am, he held my hand. We cried. I did a lot of listening & a bit of talking. And we embraced. It was MAGIC!!!
When we finally had to end, I was feeling SO MUCH BETTER... Physically!!! There was a bounce in my steps up the stairway.
When I awoke this morning, I still had it!!! Strength... both inside & outside.
And then just a moment ago the doorbell rang & it was sweet Lori Hilton with a treat for me. She didn't realize but it was a HOMERUN treat for me. It was more of the dessert from last Saturday evening's Ward Christmas dinner. When I ate it Saturday night I came home CRACING MORE!!! WISHING I HAD BROUGHT A PIECE HOME!!!
Lori, THANKS SO VERY MUCH!!!
Well, time to end for now... but I will post more... possibly tonight...
Until then...
KEEP CHEERING FOR ME!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Jim the Fighter
Monday, December 7, 2009
Forgot a BIG Monday Thanks!!!
I am SO EMBARRASSED... I left off a BIG THANKS to Justin Hutchinson!!!
He did me a big favor that I asked of him. He picked up a gas range I had paid for at my FAVORITE TOY STORE... HOME DEPOT!!! And took it to a rental of mine & replaced the one that was acting up!!!
That would have been IMPOSSIBE for me to do now!!! (not 15 days ago... but NOW it would)...
Justin, Simple THANKS doesn't cover the debt I owe you!!! But please still accept my THANKS!!!
He did me a big favor that I asked of him. He picked up a gas range I had paid for at my FAVORITE TOY STORE... HOME DEPOT!!! And took it to a rental of mine & replaced the one that was acting up!!!
That would have been IMPOSSIBE for me to do now!!! (not 15 days ago... but NOW it would)...
Justin, Simple THANKS doesn't cover the debt I owe you!!! But please still accept my THANKS!!!
Monday... Monday... Got those Monday Blues!!!
Monday was supposed to be a good day! 8 am Doctor appt to find out more about the cowardly challenger hiding in my body!!!
But WHAT A WASTE of a Doctor appt! With the exception of some free samples of medicine I asked for, it was a waste! The Doctor didn't have any additional news. Couldn't get the CAT SCAN to open on his computer. WHAT A WASTE!!!
Saving factors of Monday!!!
***My BEST ADVOCATE EVER on my medical team, The AWESOME Doctor John Ward (not to be confused with the Doctor appt listed above), called me... not once... not twice... but three times to day to check in on me!!! He di what it took to get me referred to two Doctors for opinions (this will make a total of 3 opinions in the coming days).
***My Best Friend since way back in 9th grade called & wanted to take me to lunch. I said I'd be a real cheap date since I don't really eat. I turned down the offer. Spoke a bit more on the phone & then he just said LET ME STOP BY!!! shortly thereafter he was at my door. We spoke for a bit. Suddenly I felt like a starving pig (ha ha) and said lets go get onion rings! We went to a place I recently discovered & he had tried... the Blue Plate (21st & 21st) BEST ONION RINGS in the WORLD!!! He even bought me a caramel shake (caramel ROCKS!!!) I didn't drink a bit there, but I did during the rest of the day. And the onion rings... YOU BET!!! I ate almost all of them!!!
***One of Vanessa's friends dropped of coconut chocolate chip CALORIE-LOADED treats! I looked at them & thought TOO MANY CALORIES... But then almost immediately though... I NEED Calories!!! I ate one for breakfast!!!
***After speaking to my son's Mission President last night in an effort to make sure he didn't find out from other sources, today he called my son into the office & broke the news to him (he's been in Mexico for only 28 days). My son said even though we didn't have any additional news, he still wanted to call us. We were able to speak for nearly 40 minutes! He started with a quivering voice, but I immediately stepped up & with a voice of confidence, told him the history of the last 14 days. I did a lot of speaking because I felt it was important for him to hear me & see I didn't waiver! Towards the end I asked him to do a door approach in Spanish... rollplay. I don't speak s bit of Spanish, but my wife does. It was GREAT!!! Then I asked him to bear his testimony in Spanish. My wife said it was POWERFUL!!! We will speka with him at the end of the week when we learn more about the COWARD hiding inside me!!!
***Tonight me HEAD CHEERLEADER of this MANWILL FIGHT team (you are ALL my cheerleaders, but this was the first one to declare herself a cheerleader for me)... my ALWAYS appreciated & loved, MEGAN HILL!!! She & her AWESOME parents stopped by with not one, but TWO prepared & ready to cook lasagna dinners & also garlic bread. SO AMAZING!!! I must apologize to them as I tackled them & made them stay for nearly 45 minutes... I really just wanted to laugh & knew they were PERFECT to deliver laughter! HOW I LOVE THAT FAMILY!!!
***And then there's my MOST AMAZING MOM!!! She showed up unannounced... in her robe & came and just laid by my side & talked!!! I reached over & took her hand to hold. I TOTALLY LOVE having the PERFET MOM!!!
***Last but not least, additional outpouring of support & comments on Facebook!!! I am totally enjoying those comments on Facebook. I read & re-read them. Powerful! Inspirational. Uplifting. I am never surprised how just a few words can mean so much to me. So many say I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY... Guess what... NEITHER WOULD I... or at least before this I woundn't... But now I do... Here comes the secret...
Just say...
I love you
or
Be strong
or
We are thinking of you
or
HOLY CRAP
or
LOVE YOU... HATE YOUR GUTS!!!(that might be my favorite)
Turns out there are NOT any magic words... but the thought... the words, awkward as they might be to utter, is ALL I need.
Till tomorrow (or something like that...)
Jim the COWARD KILLER signing out!!!
And THANKS AGAIN my CHEERLEADERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But WHAT A WASTE of a Doctor appt! With the exception of some free samples of medicine I asked for, it was a waste! The Doctor didn't have any additional news. Couldn't get the CAT SCAN to open on his computer. WHAT A WASTE!!!
Saving factors of Monday!!!
***My BEST ADVOCATE EVER on my medical team, The AWESOME Doctor John Ward (not to be confused with the Doctor appt listed above), called me... not once... not twice... but three times to day to check in on me!!! He di what it took to get me referred to two Doctors for opinions (this will make a total of 3 opinions in the coming days).
***My Best Friend since way back in 9th grade called & wanted to take me to lunch. I said I'd be a real cheap date since I don't really eat. I turned down the offer. Spoke a bit more on the phone & then he just said LET ME STOP BY!!! shortly thereafter he was at my door. We spoke for a bit. Suddenly I felt like a starving pig (ha ha) and said lets go get onion rings! We went to a place I recently discovered & he had tried... the Blue Plate (21st & 21st) BEST ONION RINGS in the WORLD!!! He even bought me a caramel shake (caramel ROCKS!!!) I didn't drink a bit there, but I did during the rest of the day. And the onion rings... YOU BET!!! I ate almost all of them!!!
***One of Vanessa's friends dropped of coconut chocolate chip CALORIE-LOADED treats! I looked at them & thought TOO MANY CALORIES... But then almost immediately though... I NEED Calories!!! I ate one for breakfast!!!
***After speaking to my son's Mission President last night in an effort to make sure he didn't find out from other sources, today he called my son into the office & broke the news to him (he's been in Mexico for only 28 days). My son said even though we didn't have any additional news, he still wanted to call us. We were able to speak for nearly 40 minutes! He started with a quivering voice, but I immediately stepped up & with a voice of confidence, told him the history of the last 14 days. I did a lot of speaking because I felt it was important for him to hear me & see I didn't waiver! Towards the end I asked him to do a door approach in Spanish... rollplay. I don't speak s bit of Spanish, but my wife does. It was GREAT!!! Then I asked him to bear his testimony in Spanish. My wife said it was POWERFUL!!! We will speka with him at the end of the week when we learn more about the COWARD hiding inside me!!!
***Tonight me HEAD CHEERLEADER of this MANWILL FIGHT team (you are ALL my cheerleaders, but this was the first one to declare herself a cheerleader for me)... my ALWAYS appreciated & loved, MEGAN HILL!!! She & her AWESOME parents stopped by with not one, but TWO prepared & ready to cook lasagna dinners & also garlic bread. SO AMAZING!!! I must apologize to them as I tackled them & made them stay for nearly 45 minutes... I really just wanted to laugh & knew they were PERFECT to deliver laughter! HOW I LOVE THAT FAMILY!!!
***And then there's my MOST AMAZING MOM!!! She showed up unannounced... in her robe & came and just laid by my side & talked!!! I reached over & took her hand to hold. I TOTALLY LOVE having the PERFET MOM!!!
***Last but not least, additional outpouring of support & comments on Facebook!!! I am totally enjoying those comments on Facebook. I read & re-read them. Powerful! Inspirational. Uplifting. I am never surprised how just a few words can mean so much to me. So many say I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY... Guess what... NEITHER WOULD I... or at least before this I woundn't... But now I do... Here comes the secret...
Just say...
I love you
or
Be strong
or
We are thinking of you
or
HOLY CRAP
or
LOVE YOU... HATE YOUR GUTS!!!(that might be my favorite)
Turns out there are NOT any magic words... but the thought... the words, awkward as they might be to utter, is ALL I need.
Till tomorrow (or something like that...)
Jim the COWARD KILLER signing out!!!
And THANKS AGAIN my CHEERLEADERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday... POWERFUL DAY!!! Lord's Day!!!
Sunday was AMAZING!!! The word was out about my shocking news. And what an outpouring of love & concern for my family! It was POWERFUL!!! Definitely could feel the power of Our Lord & Savior & His Sweet Comforter!
Thanks to all of you!!!
I must admit that typically on Sunday, after church, I manage to squeeze in a Sunday nap!!! But with only 5 hours of sleep Saturday night, and not getting to bed Sunday night until after midnight, I FORGOT to get that Sunday nap! And DIDN'T NEED IT!!! Amazing!!!
Thanks to all of you!!!
I must admit that typically on Sunday, after church, I manage to squeeze in a Sunday nap!!! But with only 5 hours of sleep Saturday night, and not getting to bed Sunday night until after midnight, I FORGOT to get that Sunday nap! And DIDN'T NEED IT!!! Amazing!!!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
On December 4, 2009 I was told 3 words you never want to hear
"YOU HAVE CANCER"
And to top it off they added 4 more words that just might even be worse
"AND IT HAS SPREAD"
Now that cancer showed up without an invitation I say "LET THE BATTLE BEGIN" Don't know just where this path will take me. I don't know if it will be short or long. I don't know what twists and turns will jump out at me. But I WILL FIGHT.
Jim ManWILL FIGHT
And I will bring my SECRET WEAPON. A SENSE OF HUMOR
You are invited to join me as some of MY FAVORITE CHEERLEADERS
Cancer is a dangerous, powerful, scary thing
I can't help but notice that cancer has attacked and killed so many people's sense of humor. But let me assure you that cancer can't attack & kill MY sense of humor. It may have found a secret way into my body, but it will NEVER FIND my Sense of Humor.
Here is the beginnings to this path I am now traveling.
Let me give you a quick overview of the last 13 days. The Monday before Thanksgiving I woke up to a mixed feeling. Either I was real hungry, or I was sick to my stomach. I just couldn’t tell which. It continued the entire day. As the day progressed, I felt weak.
The next day it repeated itself. That night I had a weird thought enter my mind that I would soon hear a doctor tell me YOU HAVE STOMACH CANCER. AND IT HAS SPREAD. I decided to call a trusted friend and doctor the next morning to talk to him.
Wednesday morning came and Thanksgiving was almost upon us and the trusted friend and doctor I wanted to speak with was out of town until Monday. The rest of the week I was left with an empty feeling and my mind was consumed, not by my choice, of words of death. Things I needed to accomplish before I died. There wasn’t a waking hour that thoughts of dying weren’t in my mind.
Last Sunday at church we sang a beautiful Hymn and I thought, Should I have that sung at my funeral.
At times during that week, I kept reflecting on the story of two frogs that fell into a large can of milk. They both tried to jump out, but the walls were so tall. The one frog thought there is no way out. I might as well just give up now. So he sunk to the bottom of the milk-filled can.
The other frog thought, I don’t know if I can get out of this can, but I will fight to the end. So he jumped and jumped. He continued and just kept trying. He was getting weak. Suddenly he sensed something was changing. Something firm under his tired legs. He then realized that all his kicking was starting to churn the milk into butter. He continued with an increased inner strength, and sure enough that milk was finally firm enough that he could jump out. He BEAT IT.
As I pondered over the two frogs, I was afraid. Would I be like the first frog and just give up?
I was afraid I would.
On Monday afternoon I showed up, without an appointment at the office of my doctor friend. After a wait, he came and met with me. I began to explain what I had been feeling for the last week in my stomach. He asked a few questions and did a quick check and said it might be that I have a bleeding ulcer.
I thought,
I’d prefer a bleeding ulcer over stomach cancer.
He told me to go see one of two doctors that he often referred patients to that could place a scope into my stomach and check it out. He told me that if these doctors couldn’t see me for more than a week, to let him know & he would be happy to call them personally and see if he could get it moved up.
Unfortunately by the time I left his office, these doctors receptionists had left for the day.
When I got home, I felt a strong need for receiving a blessing. After a couple of attempts for a blessing, I suddenly realized whom I wanted to have come give me a blessing. John Ward. Doctor John Ward. I called and he was able to come right over. He asked about what was going on and whom the doctor had referred me to. Surprisingly he said the same thing to me. If these doctors couldn’t see me for more than a week, to please let him know & he would be happy to make a call on my behalf. I felt the sweet spirit with that most comforting blessing.
The next morning I called to set up a time to see one of these doctors from the office I had been referred to. I was told that I could be seen in 2 weeks. That wasn’t acceptable. I mentioned that I had been referred by 2 doctors and they both wanted me to be seen sooner. I was told that I could be seen sooner by another doctor in their office. She checked and said I could be seen next Tuesday. Still a week away. I repeated that both of these doctors wanted me to be seen sooner. She said it just wasn’t possible. I then suggested Why don’t we make it THIS Tuesday instead. She stuttered a bit and said THAT’S TODAY! I said, YES, and I don’t Mind! She said that was impossible and I repeated that these two referring doctors had expressed a willingness to personally call the doctor to assist in getting me in sooner. She explained that it was not possible as the appointments were not conducted at the office, but at the hospital. And it took effort and coordination to get that scheduled. After more persuasion from me, she then put me on hold… for nearly 10 minutes. Finally she returned and said be at IHC Hospital at 1:15 today. I was AMAZED.
Thanks Doctor Ward and Doctor Hughes.
At the hospital they conducted the exam and woke me up after to tell me that they found what appears to be a cancerous tumor in my stomach.
DANG I wanted my bleeding ulcer back.
They did a bioscopy and drew blood for lab tests. And they scheduled me for a Cat Scan for Thursday. I came home and shared the news with my family.
In the middle of the night one night, I just couldn’t sleep. I found my Patriarchal Blessing and began to read it. I have a most beautiful blessing. But as I read it, I realized that there were things mentioned that had not been fulfilled. I decided it could be 1 of 3 things.
1. They would no longer be fulfilled because I had not lived up to the expectations of the Lord
2. They could still be fulfilled but not in this life.
3. They still would or could be fulfilled in THIS life.
As I continued to ponder my blessing, for the first time in more than a week, I felt a change of hope. I felt the touch of the Comforter. I thought Maybe I CAN be that
2nd frog.
After the Cat scan on Thursday, Friday I got a call from the doctor stating he did not have the results of the biopsy back yet, and even though he had not actually seen the results of the Cat Scan, the Radiologist had phoned him to say that the cancer had spread to my liver.
There it was – a doctor telling me just what I had entered my mind the week before.
Some times it just isn’t fun being right.
I asked the doctor to please contact doctor John Ward and tell him everything he had told me. In a short time, I received a call from John Ward. We talked and he said he knew some of the best of the best doctors that this is their speciality and that he would refer me to one. He said that he wanted to stay in the loop and be my friend and advisor that I could turn to whenever I needed. I also got a call from my doctor friend. I now have two of the most impressive, compassionate friends that also happen to be doctors that are a close resource for me.
Tomorrow we meet with a doctor to review what is back from the lab. Hopefully early this week we will meet with a specialist or two and see what the prognosis is and what options are available for me.
After more than 15 years of doing real estate, I just recently left the franchise real estate companies and I started my own company. I have a few good Realtor friends that expressed a desire to come to my company.
Along with this new real estate company, I also started a new venture business. I started a Carpet Cleaning business. I contracted out to have a person with over 5 years of carpet cleaning experience to do the cleaning for me. Both of these businesses are just getting going. Like a small little flame.
I only mention these two businesses because I want to let you know that if you know someone with a buying or selling real estate need, or a need to have their carpets and couches cleaned, NOW more that EVER I could use the support and referrals of others. And even though I may not physically be able to go show houses, or clean the carpets, I do have good reliable people that are so willing to help me fill the gaps. So please don’t count me out of any real estate or carpet cleaning needs. I promise they will be serviced in the most high & professional manner.
I want to thank you that have joined in fasting and prayer for all those in our ward that have needs of this time. I pray that the Lord will be mindful of each of our needs. I want to especially thank you for fasting and praying for Fred Ball and for myself. It means so much to me. He is one of my HEROS.
I will update this blog as news (good or bad) becomes available.
I appreciate the love and support from so many people. THANKS
Jim the Fighter
"YOU HAVE CANCER"
And to top it off they added 4 more words that just might even be worse
"AND IT HAS SPREAD"
Now that cancer showed up without an invitation I say "LET THE BATTLE BEGIN" Don't know just where this path will take me. I don't know if it will be short or long. I don't know what twists and turns will jump out at me. But I WILL FIGHT.
Jim ManWILL FIGHT
And I will bring my SECRET WEAPON. A SENSE OF HUMOR
You are invited to join me as some of MY FAVORITE CHEERLEADERS
Cancer is a dangerous, powerful, scary thing
I can't help but notice that cancer has attacked and killed so many people's sense of humor. But let me assure you that cancer can't attack & kill MY sense of humor. It may have found a secret way into my body, but it will NEVER FIND my Sense of Humor.
Here is the beginnings to this path I am now traveling.
Let me give you a quick overview of the last 13 days. The Monday before Thanksgiving I woke up to a mixed feeling. Either I was real hungry, or I was sick to my stomach. I just couldn’t tell which. It continued the entire day. As the day progressed, I felt weak.
The next day it repeated itself. That night I had a weird thought enter my mind that I would soon hear a doctor tell me YOU HAVE STOMACH CANCER. AND IT HAS SPREAD. I decided to call a trusted friend and doctor the next morning to talk to him.
Wednesday morning came and Thanksgiving was almost upon us and the trusted friend and doctor I wanted to speak with was out of town until Monday. The rest of the week I was left with an empty feeling and my mind was consumed, not by my choice, of words of death. Things I needed to accomplish before I died. There wasn’t a waking hour that thoughts of dying weren’t in my mind.
Last Sunday at church we sang a beautiful Hymn and I thought, Should I have that sung at my funeral.
At times during that week, I kept reflecting on the story of two frogs that fell into a large can of milk. They both tried to jump out, but the walls were so tall. The one frog thought there is no way out. I might as well just give up now. So he sunk to the bottom of the milk-filled can.
The other frog thought, I don’t know if I can get out of this can, but I will fight to the end. So he jumped and jumped. He continued and just kept trying. He was getting weak. Suddenly he sensed something was changing. Something firm under his tired legs. He then realized that all his kicking was starting to churn the milk into butter. He continued with an increased inner strength, and sure enough that milk was finally firm enough that he could jump out. He BEAT IT.
As I pondered over the two frogs, I was afraid. Would I be like the first frog and just give up?
I was afraid I would.
On Monday afternoon I showed up, without an appointment at the office of my doctor friend. After a wait, he came and met with me. I began to explain what I had been feeling for the last week in my stomach. He asked a few questions and did a quick check and said it might be that I have a bleeding ulcer.
I thought,
I’d prefer a bleeding ulcer over stomach cancer.
He told me to go see one of two doctors that he often referred patients to that could place a scope into my stomach and check it out. He told me that if these doctors couldn’t see me for more than a week, to let him know & he would be happy to call them personally and see if he could get it moved up.
Unfortunately by the time I left his office, these doctors receptionists had left for the day.
When I got home, I felt a strong need for receiving a blessing. After a couple of attempts for a blessing, I suddenly realized whom I wanted to have come give me a blessing. John Ward. Doctor John Ward. I called and he was able to come right over. He asked about what was going on and whom the doctor had referred me to. Surprisingly he said the same thing to me. If these doctors couldn’t see me for more than a week, to please let him know & he would be happy to make a call on my behalf. I felt the sweet spirit with that most comforting blessing.
The next morning I called to set up a time to see one of these doctors from the office I had been referred to. I was told that I could be seen in 2 weeks. That wasn’t acceptable. I mentioned that I had been referred by 2 doctors and they both wanted me to be seen sooner. I was told that I could be seen sooner by another doctor in their office. She checked and said I could be seen next Tuesday. Still a week away. I repeated that both of these doctors wanted me to be seen sooner. She said it just wasn’t possible. I then suggested Why don’t we make it THIS Tuesday instead. She stuttered a bit and said THAT’S TODAY! I said, YES, and I don’t Mind! She said that was impossible and I repeated that these two referring doctors had expressed a willingness to personally call the doctor to assist in getting me in sooner. She explained that it was not possible as the appointments were not conducted at the office, but at the hospital. And it took effort and coordination to get that scheduled. After more persuasion from me, she then put me on hold… for nearly 10 minutes. Finally she returned and said be at IHC Hospital at 1:15 today. I was AMAZED.
Thanks Doctor Ward and Doctor Hughes.
At the hospital they conducted the exam and woke me up after to tell me that they found what appears to be a cancerous tumor in my stomach.
DANG I wanted my bleeding ulcer back.
They did a bioscopy and drew blood for lab tests. And they scheduled me for a Cat Scan for Thursday. I came home and shared the news with my family.
In the middle of the night one night, I just couldn’t sleep. I found my Patriarchal Blessing and began to read it. I have a most beautiful blessing. But as I read it, I realized that there were things mentioned that had not been fulfilled. I decided it could be 1 of 3 things.
1. They would no longer be fulfilled because I had not lived up to the expectations of the Lord
2. They could still be fulfilled but not in this life.
3. They still would or could be fulfilled in THIS life.
As I continued to ponder my blessing, for the first time in more than a week, I felt a change of hope. I felt the touch of the Comforter. I thought Maybe I CAN be that
2nd frog.
After the Cat scan on Thursday, Friday I got a call from the doctor stating he did not have the results of the biopsy back yet, and even though he had not actually seen the results of the Cat Scan, the Radiologist had phoned him to say that the cancer had spread to my liver.
There it was – a doctor telling me just what I had entered my mind the week before.
Some times it just isn’t fun being right.
I asked the doctor to please contact doctor John Ward and tell him everything he had told me. In a short time, I received a call from John Ward. We talked and he said he knew some of the best of the best doctors that this is their speciality and that he would refer me to one. He said that he wanted to stay in the loop and be my friend and advisor that I could turn to whenever I needed. I also got a call from my doctor friend. I now have two of the most impressive, compassionate friends that also happen to be doctors that are a close resource for me.
Tomorrow we meet with a doctor to review what is back from the lab. Hopefully early this week we will meet with a specialist or two and see what the prognosis is and what options are available for me.
After more than 15 years of doing real estate, I just recently left the franchise real estate companies and I started my own company. I have a few good Realtor friends that expressed a desire to come to my company.
Along with this new real estate company, I also started a new venture business. I started a Carpet Cleaning business. I contracted out to have a person with over 5 years of carpet cleaning experience to do the cleaning for me. Both of these businesses are just getting going. Like a small little flame.
I only mention these two businesses because I want to let you know that if you know someone with a buying or selling real estate need, or a need to have their carpets and couches cleaned, NOW more that EVER I could use the support and referrals of others. And even though I may not physically be able to go show houses, or clean the carpets, I do have good reliable people that are so willing to help me fill the gaps. So please don’t count me out of any real estate or carpet cleaning needs. I promise they will be serviced in the most high & professional manner.
I want to thank you that have joined in fasting and prayer for all those in our ward that have needs of this time. I pray that the Lord will be mindful of each of our needs. I want to especially thank you for fasting and praying for Fred Ball and for myself. It means so much to me. He is one of my HEROS.
I will update this blog as news (good or bad) becomes available.
I appreciate the love and support from so many people. THANKS
Jim the Fighter
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